You are so excited about it that you hurriedly explain it to your team while your voice goes up an entire octave. When you are done, you wait to have your boss praise your brilliance, but instead you get that awkward silence and those puzzled looks.

Three minutes later your colleague, Gordon Gekko brings up the same idea you did, but he says it in a slightly different way. It’s the best thing since sliced bread.

You’re left wondering “what just happened?”

You got idea swiped. Yet, here’s the worse crime: you were a willing participant.
This scenario happens all the time in conference rooms around the country. However, there is a simple and easy to implement process that can prevent it.

How to Get Your Ideas Recognized in Meetings

So, here are the 5 steps to getting your ideas recognized in meetings:

1) You get the idea in your head. 

If you are in meetings and you aren’t getting ideas, focus on being present for the meeting. Put away the smartphone and turn off messenger on your laptop. Listen and make eye contact with the speaker. By paying more close attention and being present, ideas will start to percolate.

2) Pause and take a breath. This is important. Valuable ideas can be overlooked if they are presented in a meandering, unfocused manner. Take a moment to pause and collect yourself. Take a deep breath to calm the nervous energy that organically generates when we’ve got a great idea.

3) Complete this brief outline in your notebook. Outlining is very high level and should take no more than 1-2 minutes total.

Here’s an example from my days working in healthcare brand management:

a) [State your idea in 10 words or less]:

Offer an aspirin promotion during week of Daylight Savings time.

b) [List your supporting rationale – Which of your team’s goals does this idea support?]

Sell more 325 mg aspirin.

c) [List additional supporting data – Why is this specific idea different, relevant or useful?]

More heart attacks occur during the weeks of daylight time than any other time during the year.

(I heard this factoid on NPR a few days before and had filed that info away in my ‘mental lockbox’ right next to the exact number of calories in a tall caramel Frappuccino. Yes, we keep a lot of data in our heads. It’s time we start using it to help us succeed too!)

d)[List any additional relevant supporting data]

A 325mg aspirin can save your life during a heart attack.

You probably don’t need to write out full sentences, but I did so you could follow my thinking.

4) Take a breath again and smile. Allow the nerves to settle. When the last speaker has finished his/her point, interject with yours.

5) Speak. Use a short, directed sentence to speak through your outline. Make eye contact with the whole room from your seat, but most especially with your boss.

Couple of notes:

a) If you got the idea from another person’s comment or a topic from the meeting, reference it.

“Building off of Jenny’s idea for 81 mg aspirin, here’s a way to grow our 325mg business.”

You’ll show the class we know you have, you’ll gain some karma points, and your boss will notice how you give credit where it’s due. Plus, it immediately shows that it is relevant to the topic at hand which will entice people to listen.

b) When you are about to speak, plant your feet.

Roll your shoulders back and sit up straight. Smile. Take a breath and you’ll notice that your voice will be in a lower register and you’ll exude more confidence.

c) You’ll probably have some follow-ups from your boss when s/he recognizes your brilliance! Be sure to complete those follow-ups in a timely manner and with quality. You’ll show your ownership and that your ideas matter and can be implemented.

Don’t Get Idea Swiped!

After delivering one of my first career workshops for my new business, I was driving the long and usually kinda boring, 2-hour commute back to Denver. However, that day, I felt electric. The workshop went very well, the career women were engaged and I felt this wave of happiness.

“Thank you for being a friend… travel down the road and back again.” What starts out as a hum, soon breaks into full-blown car karaoke of just the first verse (since I don’t know the rest of it. C’mon, does anyone?)

Each time I sing the words, I think of my good friends and family who supported my crazy (but not so crazy) leap into entrepreneurship from stable and lucrative corporate. I was feeling so grateful; I thought, “I need to share this feeling with them.”

So, I break out my trusty iPhone and record voice memos of me singing my heart out to The Golden Girls theme song along with a personalized voice message of thanks to each of my friends.

Gratitude Lesson #1: Tell your loved ones that you are grateful for them.

Whether it’s Dorothy saying, “Love you, Ma” or just the ladies supporting one another’s crazy schemes, show you care through your words and your actions.

Gratitude Lesson #2: Give without expecting anything in return.

The second part of the story above is that after I hit send on each of the voice memo notes, I was expecting to hear back from my friends.

But all I got were crickets. [Quite literally, I was in the middle of nowhere.]

I asked myself “was this so corny that they don’t want to respond?” Self-doubt rolled in and the natural high from the workshop started to dwindle.

Finally I thought, “Does it matter? The point was for me to share my joy and gratitude with them. I did and it felt great.” So, I kept on humming.

About an hour later, I started getting texts and emails saying they loved it and me. It turns out that my cell reception was poor and delayed the messages.

Gratitude Lesson #3: Get Grateful Everyday.

Just as the Golden Girls would get together each episode and recap their day over cheesecake, it’s important to bring a daily practice of gratitude into your life each day.

Try this: Once a day, write down in your journal 3 things that you are grateful for at that moment.

For me, some days my gratitudes are deep and meaningful. (I.e., “I’m grateful for my parents’ health and that they are still with me.”)

Other days, they can be light and silly. (“I’m so glad that Carlton won on DWTS last night!”)

The point is to make gratitude a consistent part of your day so that joy, happiness and peace become a natural part of your life.

I’d love to hear from you.  How have you incorporated gratitude into your life?  Comment below! 

Back when I was working in consulting, there was a year long period where I didn’t take any PTO. I got so entrenched in a project that I thought “I can’t take a vacation now. They need me.” And “I’ll take time when the project is done.”

Well, you know what happened. The project completion date got extended and I was ‘fighting fires’ as my original vacation date passed. By the time, Christmas came that year I was stressed, miserable and frankly grey (literally, my skin was grey. Not cute.)

If any of the above resonated, you probably NEED a vacation too.

We’re not the only ones. According to the US Travel Association, 41% of American workers let their vacation days go unused or expire at the end of the year.

Do we really love to work that much? I don’t think so. Instead, I think we don’t give vacation time the value it deserves or understand what it can do for us.

We all deserve (and need) vacation to rest and recover from the stresses of work and life. It’s how we disconnect from the world and refocus on what’s important to us and bring our values front and center.

The key thing is to truly disconnect. Don’t bring your work iPhone and answer emails from the beach. Be present and savor the moment and experience. Unless you are a surgeon waiting to hear about an available heart for your transplant patient, the work email can wait.

Here are 3 ways to use your vacation (and a bonus tip for 2015):

1) Plan out your vacation dates for next year now. Crack open your outlook and sync up your google calendars. It’s time to block off 3-5 days every 90 days for a little vacation. Tell your significant other to do the same. Then, ask for the time off. Unless your business is highly seasonal (i.e., tax season), this is more than enough notice for your boss (and you) to plan around. So, open up your outlook, and block out a mini-vacay for you, your significant other and/or your family every 3 months. (Do it now. I’ll wait.)

2) Play ‘legit’ hooky. Don’t tell your family or friends that you have the day off and give yourself some much needed “me” time. Book that spa appointment, get your nails and hair done, go shopping. Give yourself a pamper day or rope in some of your good friends for a bit of fun. One September years ago, a few friends and I went to Six Flags Great Adventure on a Wednesday. It was glorious.

3) Make it a stay cation. If that Mastercard commercial with the little kids asking their parents to just take “one more day” of vacation sounded WAY TOO familiar, this might be a good option for you.

4) Give a day to needy co-workers. If you have a lot of unused vacation days, but can’t take the time before they expire. Talk with your manager and see if you can donate them to a colleague. In this way, PTO that would otherwise go unused can be put to good use, you’ll look like a superhero to a colleague and you’ll get some bonus karma points too.

Remember this: In most companies you either use your vacation or you lose it. For salaried workers, this means you are taking a VOLUNTARY PAY DECREASE with each PTO day you give back to the company.

Stop giving your boss more of your money – plan out your vacation today!

Yes, there is a time and place for booty shaking. It’s just not at work when you’re on a deadline. Instead try this:

1) Figure out YOUR WHY

What’s your rationale for creating this deliverable? If the answer is, “Well, my boss told me to,” do this exercise.

ACTION STEP: Grab a clean sheet of paper. In the center, write “WHY [insert your task here]” and then let your inner 3 year old go wild here. Keep asking “why?” until you get an answer that hits a nerve for you.

Why should you do it?
Why will it help you?
Why does that matter?
HINT: The goal is to identify a WHY that’s more motivating and meaningful to you than satisfying a boss you may not even like.

2) Get clear on the Requirements (and how they serve you).

When I started my career in consulting, I would get tasked with taking notes at client meetings. I loathe note taking. It brings out my inner perfectionista. Back then, I would stress over how much detail to include, if I would miss something, and would sometimes stay up late after all my other work was done just to make the notes “perfect” before I sent it out.

In the beginning, I was assigned the task simply because I was the lowest person on the career food chain. However, since the notes were so detailed and thorough, my boss kept assigning the task to me! I was missing out on juicier tasks because I wasn’t clear on my boss’s requirements. He later mentioned to me that a “few key meeting takeaways would have sufficed.”

Tweet: Stop trying to paint a Picasso with every task. Let yourself just do enough to #getitdone – Beena Kavalam http://ctt.ec/712y6+

ACTION STEP: When assigned new work, talk with your boss and make sure you know the goals, audience, length, and absolute musts for the deliverable BEFORE you start.

3) Step away from your desk.

Sometimes the best thing we can do when we have a deadline and we’re stuck is to change our environment.

– Change WHERE YOU WORK. Grab your laptop and head to the cafeteria or an empty conference room. I used to simply move to the desk on the opposite side of my cube. You’ll get a new perspective and that will get ideas flowing again.

– Change YOUR STATE. Take a walk outside and get some air. Get some water from the water cooler on the opposite side of the building and while you are there chat up some of the folks in that department.

– TAKE A BREAK every 25-50 minutes, work any longer and your decision making and thinking abilities start to decline. The easy way to get back to your prime level is to take a 5 minute break where you use either your body or another part of your brain. (i.e., Working on a detailed data analysis? Go people watch or doodle a bit to engage the creative and intuitive right side of your brain.)

With all of these ‘breaks’ be careful, the goal is to just change your perspective and rejuvenate, not procrastinate. Set an alarm on your smartphone for

ACTION STEP: Take a break every hour.

4) Start small.

Break up the big goal into smaller tasks. For example, instead of writing “complete systems requirements document” on your to do list, write “outline major headings for requirements doc.” Then, give yourself 15-20 minutes to do it. Hold yourself to the time pressure and use an alarm to keep yourself on track.

ACTION STEP: Take a moment to look at your task and see if it can be completed in 15-20 minutes. If it can’t, break it up into a smaller to do.

5) Reward Yourself.

After you’ve completed the deliverable, be sure to reward yourself. And I don’t mean saying “ok, it’s done. What’s next?” If it’s the end of the day, close up and head home. Or head to lunch a bit early and go out with a friend for lunch. Remember, it’s got to be something you like to do to be motivating.

ACTION STEP: Write the reward you’ll get after you finish the deliverable as a task on your to do list.

Alright, now it’s time to get back to work!

You make a recommendation in a meeting that you think is the greatest idea since the iPod and all you get back are blank stares and “huh…er… interesting” from your boss.

Or you are all set to make a big speech, but you get so nervous you stumble through the presentation.

No one likes to fail, especially at work. But in some way or another we all do it.

The secret that high performers know and live is that managing failure is a key to success.

So, here are 5 ways top performers fail their way to the top:

1) Fail Small and Fail Fast. 

It’s hard to accept failure. As a “type A” personality, it’s something I’ve struggled with my entire life. I would double and triple check emails before I would send them out, so they would be “perfect.”

Although that was OK in school and in the lower ranks of Corporate America, when I started to manage teams and big projects I needed to learn the concept of “failing fast.” I started with smaller decisions, for which I may not have all the complete data, but enough to make a good recommendation. I had to start trusting my intuition, get comfortable with risk, and just do it.

2) Reframe Failure.

For a long time whenever I failed, I took it as if I was not good enough. The negative thoughts in my head (aka my inner mean girl) would go wild with all the ways I (not my work) had failed. However, I’ve learned to look at failure for what it is: feedback on the task performed not commentary on my abilities and talents.

When you receive feedback as a tool to improve the work, it takes much of the stress out of feedback. When I saw that it was the work that needed to be improved, I stopped stressing about me and learned what needed to be corrected so I could continue moving forward in action. (See #4 below for a technique video on how to let go of the criticism so you can move forward. It’s helped me ALOT.)

3) Feel the Burn and Use It as Fuel.

I used this strategy for the first time when I was in high school. (Although at the time, I didn’t know it was a strategy.)

In 10th grade, I tried out for All State Choir. I thought I had it in the bag since my scores for All County were strong, so I didn’t practice very hard. And then, I didn’t get in. Watching my friends’ work be rewarded with the success that I wanted, I felt the burn of that failure. I got angry and determined. Instead of wallowing in all that I did wrong, I decided I would do whatever it took to make it the next year.

And so I didn’t just practice for All State, I trained. So much that I still can sing the qualifier song “The Silver Swan” with very good quality tone, rhythm and melody many years later. In the end, I not only got in to All State Choir, but also qualified for All Eastern as well.

4) Stop Festering on It!

OK, this one is going out to all the ladies out there. So many of my clients struggle with letting go of the negative feedback. We hold on to it and let it fester inside of us until our inner mean girl takes over and erodes our confidence.

Check out this video on how to Let It Go!*

5) When In Doubt, Take Action!

We can easily get stuck in analysis paralysis or perfection syndrome. It can halt us from making progress. Next time when some self doubt prevents action, do this: pause, do an intuition check, take a breath, and just take action!

*If you liked the strategy video above, then please join me for the FREE “Get It Done” Video Training series. You’ll get short, actionable videos sent directly to your inbox.

To Your Success,

You successfully passed the initial rounds of interviews. Now, it’s just the last step: dinner with the senior executive team.

Dinner interviews are great opportunities for executives to see your people skills and your business etiquette at the same time. They can be your opportunity to seal the deal or career poison if you are not careful.

More and more, job interviews are being conducted over meals to help hiring managers determine how you conduct yourself outside the office. Think about it: When you take out your company’s clients, vendors, and other employees you represent the company and its brand. So, proper dining etiquette and manners are imperative for your career (and your company’s) success.

With this in mind, here are 4 things you should never eat (or drink) during a dinner interview:

1) The most expensive item on the menu – This is not the time to indulge in lobster or filet mignon. Order something you like and that is easy to eat (see #2).

Also, be sure to watch the interviewer and order the same number of courses as s/he.

2) Difficult to eat food – You may love the spaghetti and meatballs at the restaurant, but this is not the time to have it. Stick to the easier to eat menu items that are less likely to drip on your suit.

When ordering, be sure to show your decisiveness. Quickly scan the menu and have a few options. Your interviewer will most likely recommend something to you as well. Make a decision and stick to it. Then shift your attention to the executives.

Also, limit multiple amendments to your order. In other words, go with “I’ll take the Grilled Shrimp Salad” instead of “I’ll take the Grilled Shrimp Salad, without the croutons, with extra tomatoes and with the dressing on the side.”

That said, if you are allergic to a specific food, be sure to let your host know when you RSVP to the event and order around those foods.

This is not the time to order something you have never tasted before. Order something “safe” that isn’t messy to eat, you generally enjoy, and you know how to eat. (i.e., that intriguing, unheard of dish on the menu may come with its own special set of unique utensils you’ve never used before. You don’t want to stress over utensils at an interview.)

3) Your second glass of liquor – Remember, this is an interview, not a time to relax. Your nerves will keep you on your toes, so the best approach is to say no to alcohol. However, if all the executives are having a drink (and you feel comfortable to do so) drinking one glass of wine or alcohol is acceptable.

4) The first bite of food at the table – Wait until everyone else at the table has their food and the most senior person at the table has begun to eat.

Here’s why: It’s simply basic manners to wait for each person at the table to get their meals. In addition, in some cultures, it is disrespectful to eat before the most senior person. So, be on the safe side, and just wait.

Remember, you are not there for the meal, but rather to make a positive impression. If needed, plan to have a small snack before the dinner especially if you will be drinking.

Bonus etiquette tips:

1) No matter how bad the food is, never send it back. Remember, the interviewer picked this place.

2) No doggy bags. It looks awkward and at the end of the evening, you want to be unencumbered when shaking hands.

3) Don’t put used flatware on the table. This is just basic etiquette here. Leave flatware in the 4 o’clock position when finished, knife above the fork with the blade facing you.

4) No need to offer (or reach for the billfold) to pay the bill. Remember, this isn’t a date. The executives invited you and they will most definitely be charging it in. Just remember to say “thank you” as the executive signs the check and then follow up with a thank you note within 24 hours.

In general, professional etiquette is the icing on top of your career cake. For career success, build a strong foundation of your experience, personal brand, and skills and add the extra polish of executive presence and etiquette. Good luck!

If you are looking for a job, ready to make a career change, or just want to feel more confident at work, you must know your personal brand and how to craft it. Not sure what your personal brand is? Check out my free Personal Branding 101 training.

Here are 5 Ways to Win on Your First Day Back from Vacation:

1) Actually have a vacation til the night before you go back to work.

Cut off technology and finish up all your assignments before you leave. If possible, open up the laptop on the night before you get back and check for any URGENT emails from your boss about items for the next morning. After spending 3 weeks in India around Christmas, I came back to find out I needed to head to a different client site that next morning as I had been staffed on a new consulting project while away.

2) Bring something back for the team.

It can be some Hawaiian macadamia nut chocolates, a box of maple leaf cookies from Canada, or even a team plant. It’s a small gesture that people just don’t do enough of anymore. Bring it to the team meeting or put it in the team’s common area near your desk. This way the people you care about actually get to enjoy them!

It’s a small way to say thank you to the people who may have covered for you while you were away. If one colleague went above and beyond while you were out, bring a small, but nice token gift for them as well. It is the thought that counts and it’s another way to stand out in a positive way with your team.

5 Ways to Win on Your First Day Back from Vacation

3) Create your action plan to get caught up.

Before I left for vacation, I would always block my calendar for the morning that I got back. I’d then get in a little early that morning with my venti hot black tea with milk and honey, take out a clean sheet printer paper and start action planning.

I’d fold the paper into quadrants. And then label each section with one of the following areas:

1. MUST DO TODAY
2. CAN WAIT ON
3. People Follow Ups
4. Meetings

4) Tackle that inbox… backwards.

If you’re like me, you’ll probably have hundreds of emails to go through when you get back. There’s no way you’re going to read them all – and frankly you shouldn’t.

Most of the time you were cc’d on something just to “keep you in the loop” or the critical issue from last week is now resolved and no longer urgent.

Go through your inbox sorting by urgency, time (most recent first) and then name. Look for items from your boss, senior leadership and then your team and colleagues. Write down anything that you need to take action on in one of the 4 quadrants.

If it’s urgent, add it to the “MUST DO TODAY” quadrant, but keep digging to get more info and figure out if it’s truly urgent. Keep sifting through your inbox, quickly skimming, then deleting or storing emails into folders as you go, until all your emails are out of your inbox.

Then, start tackling your list. Begin with quadrant 1 and check off items as you complete them.

5) Keep the vacay going.

Take lunch away from your desk – don’t just munch while checking your emails. Plan for some breaks too. And be sure to leave on time that day. Don’t wreck a great vacation by going into stress mode the day you get back.

One more thing: before long that gorgeous tan and mimosa memories will be start to fade, so start planning your next vacation soon!

My first thought was “No…I can’t get sick this week, I have too much going on!”

We can’t choose when we get sick, but we can learn from it.

Like any good ex-consultant, I created a strategy to tackle my busy workweek while not feeling my best. Here’s the plan I used and 3 key steps to get more productive (even if you’re not sick.)

1) Get Focused and Delegate.

My first step was to take an honest look at my calendar for the week. What meetings weretruly mandatory for me? If it could get delegated or wasn’t mandatory, it was off my calendar.

Next, I looked at my to do list for the week. I had over 40 items that ‘had’ to get done. I postponed anything that wasn’t absolutely critical for the week, delegated some items to my intern and cut my list in half.

Why It Worked: I identified the highest order tasks (i.e., revenue driving or high exposure projects) and delegated everything else.

2) Let Go of Perfection.

I admit it. Sometimes, I can be a little “Type A.” Because I want things to be ‘perfect,’ I procrastinate on completing tasks (It’s the “if it can’t be perfect, I don’t want to do it” mentality.) However this week, things had to get done and I didn’t have enough energy to work past 3 pm. So, I let go of the expectation that it had to be 100% and instead aimed for 80%. And you know what? No one even noticed!

Why It Worked: I figured out the reason I procrastinate, eliminated my excuses, and just got things done.

3) Plan Your Breaks.

With 16 meetings and just 4 major projects for the week, my new to do list was a bit more realistic. I broke down the 4 projects into a bunch of 25-minute tasks. Luckily, there’s an app for that. The Pomodoro app enables you to complete tasks timed in 25 minute increments with a short 5 minute break in between. I just turned off all other distractions (i.e., email, phone, Facebook), concentrated for the 25 minutes and then got up and did something completely different for the break. (Truthfully, that meant playing Candy Crushon my iPhone for 5 minutes.) I planned for 2-4 sessions a day and whatever meetings I had and then I could sleep (or play more Candy Crush).

Why It Worked: Focusing on completing one task (instead of multi-tasking) helped me concentrate all my energy on getting the task completed. And then I got the reward of a break.

By focusing my limited energy and time on getting just my highest order tasks done, I was significantly more productive (2 new clients, 1 new partnership, 3 new speaking gigs signed, the highest views of one of my blog posts ever) than my normal workweek while getting the rest I needed!

Now, the only question running through my head is “Why can’t I do this every week?”

What about you? What tools or techniques have helped you become more productive? Comment below with your tips!

Original Photo: Paul Bradbury

Think small talk is just a waste of time? Think again.

Small talk are those informal conversations you have in both your professional and personal circles that don’t cover functional topics (e.g., work related items) or have a specific purpose. However, small talk can be vital to helping you grow your network and strengthen relationships with colleagues and co-workers.

Why is small talk useful for your career?

As technology becomes omnipresent, we are losing the art of conversation. It’s important to be polite and to be able to fill those awkward silences when needed. Being able to converse with co-workers, colleagues and other business people you may not know is a critical skill for high performing professionals. It can help you build relationships on a new team or simply grow your network.

Here are some ways to make a big impact on your career using small talk.

1) Utilize your waiting time.

I travel a lot for work and although I have my ‘speed through airport security process’ down, the several dozen people ahead of me usually don’t. So, instead of checking my email for the umpteenth time, I start up a conversation with another business traveler in line. You would be surprised who you meet. While waiting for a flight from JFK to Denver, I met a food entrepreneur who founded one of my favorite organic breakfast burrito brands and is now a food venture capitalist.

2) Strike up a micro-conversation with a co-worker.

You get to a meeting on time only to find out that the meeting organizer still needs a few minutes to get started. You immediately break out your blackberry and start checking your email. Instead, try to connect with a colleague sitting next to you. Put down any technology in your hands, look your colleague in the eyes and truly listen to him or her. You’ll come across relaxed, genuine and put together. Plus, you’ll build a stronger relationship with a co-worker in time that would have been wasted.

3) Search for commonalities…or create them.

Years ago at my first consulting engagement, there were a few weeks where I was the only woman on the 100+ person project and the least experienced person.

I knew I needed a way to connect with the guys on my project even when more women joined the team. So, each morning I would listen to the radio and catch the highlights of last night’s game. I knew just enough about football, basketball and baseball to understand the key teams and players to talk the talk with the tech guys. It was amazing – all I needed to do was mention a bit about the game and start the conversation. The guys just took it from there. We weren’t best friends, but it was enough for me to break the ice and get included in the mix.

Should men take an interest in women’s issues? Absolutely. If a man is on a team of mainly women professionals, then he should make an effort to figure out what topics his co-workers discuss regularly and take steps to get up to speed in those areas.

The important part about small talk is that it shows you are making a genuine interest in your team members and opens the door for conversation and relationship building.